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+--- Thread: 101 tips yet again...... (/showthread.php?tid=1587)
101 tips yet again...... - troll - 21st May 2009
If you remember, we compiled a similar list of goodly hints for newbies some years ago and it turned out to be an informative and often-pant wetting exercise. This one is 101 tips and hints for surviving without archaeology. Here we go....
1. Buy an X Box
2. Buy a hemmaroid (crap spelling) cushion for prolonged periods suspended on your sofa.
3. Do not buy the entire series of Time Team in a box-set format.
4. Do hunt down any ongoing excavations and beg loudly over the fence daily. This is known as "actively seeking work".
5. Do not roach your dole card.
6. Do not assume that temping agencies have the slightest idea of what an archaeologist is.
7. When humping dustbins for the local council and maggot juice runs down your back-remember- rubbish is archaeology in the making and crap has context.
8. Recycle your fag butts.
9. Wear the same clothes for months, don`t indulge in personal hygene, carry a dog on a string at all times and consume special brew at alarming rates. Oh, no...hang on, thats no different from being employed is it......
10. Keep your hand in by building beer can pyramids and toilet roll henges.
11. Discover the beauty of youtube by typing the words "funny accidents" into the search bar.
12. Buy the newest edition of Rogers Profanosaurus and start by looking up the word "archaeologist" (p16).
13. Write a dole recipe guide to the amazing food you can concoct from a cupboard consisting of cornflakes, self raising flower, one can of soup and a jar of marmite.
14. Use both sides of the toilet roll.
15. Take great pleasure in waving your dole card at the student loans sharks (sorry- I meant Company).
16. Save on costs and turn your underwear inside out before getting another 6 months out of them.
17. Invest in bicycle clips to protect your shoes from the avalanche of dried matter inevitable after following tip number 16.
..knowledge without action is insanity and action without knowledge is vanity..(imam ghazali,ayyuhal-walad)
101 tips yet again...... - troll - 21st May 2009
Just realised that I wrote self raising "flower". Prat.[:I]
18. Buy a copy of "Withnail and I".
19. Buy the entire first series of the Young ones on DVD.
..knowledge without action is insanity and action without knowledge is vanity..(imam ghazali,ayyuhal-walad)
101 tips yet again...... - troll - 22nd May 2009
seriously now....
20. Get involved with local societies
21. See what you can do for your local schools.
22. Volunteer at local museums.
23. Volunteer abroad.
24. Study your area/region by sucking SMR data dry.
25. Re-assess your C.V.
24. Consider career trajectories.
25. Consider more education and or training.
26. Consider conversion courses.
27. Research and produce publishable papers.
28. Attend conferences.
29. Indulge in fieldwalking.
30. Maintain your sense of humour at all times, covet your sense of dignity, don`t forget to rob any new skills from temporary employment and above all- when working in alternative employment, enjoy the novelty of employers who understand health and safety law, welfare etc.
31. Get that driving licence!
32. Get that Safety card.
33. Get the Department of Stealth and Total Obscurity to pay for hints 31 and 32.:face-approve:
..knowledge without action is insanity and action without knowledge is vanity..(imam ghazali,ayyuhal-walad)
101 tips yet again...... - Wibblehead - 22nd May 2009
34: Take positive actions. Keep your wits occupied by turning the task of replenishing your dig-kit into an exercise in stealth and ingenuity; such as scrumping the pegs from your neighbour's laundry line, and seeing if you can poach the knitting needles from your gran without her noticing.
:face-approve:
~~~~~
Thunder rolled. ... It rolled a six.
101 tips yet again...... - trowelfodder - 22nd May 2009
35. Don't get disheartened - its not just you in this position - there is nothing wrong with you - everyone is in the same boat when they start out, just keep emailing anyone who may have a job and everyone who may be able to offer you experience which help to make you more employable in the future
101 tips yet again...... - Wibblehead - 22nd May 2009
36: Join a local history society; many don't have professional archaeologists and will be chuffed to bits to have one. And a lot of them are self-admittedly in need of young blood too.
101 tips yet again...... - ashley - 22nd May 2009
Quote:quote:Originally posted by Wibblehead
36: Join a local history society; many don't have professional archaeologists and will be chuffed to bits to have one. And a lot of them are self-admittedly in need of young blood too.
I totally agree with this, my local group as several projects including one just down the road in 3 weeks. Saw the person running that today and they were only to pleased when I said I could make it.