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15th April 2011, 07:19 AM
Oh dear Kel...
Hope it's not that bad!
They tend to assume folk can get themselves to A&E without the aid of blue flashing lights...
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Merlot in one hand, Cigar in the other; body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!
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15th April 2011, 09:09 AM
*administers litre of gin intravenously to Kel*
Hope you're alright now?
Prime practitioner of headology, with a side order of melting glass with a stern glare.
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15th April 2011, 09:10 AM
GP this morning. Load of nonsense from a script-reading NHS Direct school leaver. "Keep the affected part elevated"?? It's my bleedin' (in both senses of the word) navel and I'm 47 - if I could still perform that level of contortion, my life would be an awful lot more fun.
I'd get more sense from a Clown School.
Hang on - this gin bottle's empty. How did that happen? What goes well with gin? I know - vodka. Tear the optic off that one and hand it over. And pass me a straw to drink it through. As Pete 'n' Dud might have commented, I can at least try to maintain some ****ing decorum.
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15th April 2011, 09:48 AM
*passes the bottle*
I completely forgot to give you guys the link, sorry. Will have to do that tonight.
"Use Your Archeological Imagination..."
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15th April 2011, 09:48 AM
Can someone please pass me some earplugs?
"Use Your Archeological Imagination..."
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15th April 2011, 09:59 AM
Also: I'm going to be posting an online discussion/blog entry in the Den Of Antiquity, I'd love it if people wanted to reply.
If not then just be aware the Bettany Hughes fantrail will be going on in there.
"Use Your Archeological Imagination..."
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15th April 2011, 10:43 AM
Kel Wrote:GP this morning. Load of nonsense from a script-reading NHS Direct school leaver. "Keep the affected part elevated"?? It's my bleedin' (in both senses of the word) navel and I'm 47 - if I could still perform that level of contortion, my life would be an awful lot more fun.
Self piercing is not recommended and I hesitate to pass you any more gin in case you decide to pierce anything else!!:I
Hope the GP hasn't got the same script..(but sorry, you did make me laugh...)
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Merlot in one hand, Cigar in the other; body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!
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15th April 2011, 12:42 PM
I'm elevating the gin bottle using the mode of gesture that is habitual to me, as it's the way I've held a bottle of gin since I was old enough to know that Gin is Good. In this way I can preserve Kel from an autonomous... oh, stuff it. I can't do divot-speak any longer today!
*pours a generous amount of gin, introduces it to a meagre amount of tonic and teases it with a slice of lime* There you go, Kel, but don't pierce anything else, ok, or the gin will just leak out and we don't want that.
Prime practitioner of headology, with a side order of melting glass with a stern glare.
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15th April 2011, 03:10 PM
I'm afraid my navel just exploded of its own accord, with no provocation in the shape of piercing. So much for GP No. 3's "worrying new mole" theory. GP No.4 assures me it is a haemorragic cyst. Or at least it used to be, until the early hours of this morning...
*Accepts all proffered alcohol with gratitude*
I'm off the Bloody Marys for a while though.
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15th April 2011, 03:27 PM
*gets out the H&S disapproved stepladder, climbs up to the upper shelves, moves aside a few dusty things and drags out the Very Special Bottle*
Kel, I think you need this. Not on the navel, perhaps, but administered via the medium of a nice, clean glass.
*reads label - Not For Consumption by Children, the Elderly or the Insufficient of Comprehension*
Cheers!
Prime practitioner of headology, with a side order of melting glass with a stern glare.