20th December 2005, 12:24 PM
Quote:quote:Originally posted by troll
Hmmmm. Risk assessment before puttin up deccies? What next?
But wait a minute...why is it deemed safe to allow a rather large bearded gentleman sporting a snazzy red suit to
1. break the speed limit all night
2. park a team of tethered quadrupeds and an overloaded sleigh on peoples rooves
3. come down peoples chimnies without as much as a confined space certificate and adequate protection
4. leave large quantities of paper-wrapped cardboard boxes everywhere and increasing the risk of fire
5. eat yer mince pies, drink more booze and then speed off into the night sky.
Why Santa should be shopped for shoddy standards and, reported to the HSE for sheer contempt? Anyone?
My understanding is that the situation here is complicated.
In the first instance, Mr Claus does not appear to be a member of the IFA (Institute of Festive Aviators) and is not covered by their Code of Conduct (the so called Santa Clause). Infact he has been known to state categorically that as far as he is concerned there is no Santa Clause!!
Secondly, it has been reported that Mr Claus is in the habit of laying off his staff immediately before the Christmas break and avoids paying them the IFA minima for most of the following year. He claims he is able to do this as an exemption under the Employment Act 2002 because his staff are sELF-employed.
Thirdly, Mr Claus has asked for it to be made clear that he feels he is being misrepresented by a small clique of left-wing elves belonging to the SWP (Santa's Workers Party). Mr Claus would like to remind everyone that he took part in a large number of riotous Christmas parties of the early 1980s and has photo-copies of numerous body parts to prove it.
Fourthly, Mr Claus states that he has never been tempted to change a light bulb or instruct any member of his workforce to do so.
Finally Mr Claus would like to make it clear that the views expressed here are purely his own and not those of his employer, Father Christmas Ltd.
[:I]