26th June 2010, 05:42 PM
(This post was last modified: 26th June 2010, 05:47 PM by deadlylampshade.)
Hello, hello everyone! Glad to see the bar hasn't been closed in my temporary absence and really quite mortified that so many people are having a bad time. But if you don't laugh you'll cry and actually it is just as many calories to cry and the wrinkles are the same...if not worse than smiling.
I may have returned to archaeology with my rose tinted glasses on but the vibes I am getting from this site and one or two other places where I have been re-establishing links is pretty depressing...but my local archaeology team have put up four new jobs in the last week. I have applied for one but doubt I'll even get an interview becasue the application form made you put your previous salary on and they'll probably think I am joking...or delusional...or both. Heigh ho...if you don;t ask, you don;t get.
God, I am sounding like polly-bloody-anna don;t I. I'm not, really...
So sorry to those who are depressed...havent got any good archaeology jokes but I did get this from a friend of mine who is a helo pilot (who does not want to work for BP!!!)
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
11. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.
12. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go to Court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
So...nice cool Kronenbourg from the fridge, pistachios at my right elbow...a cracking evening in sunny England...:face-approve:
I may have returned to archaeology with my rose tinted glasses on but the vibes I am getting from this site and one or two other places where I have been re-establishing links is pretty depressing...but my local archaeology team have put up four new jobs in the last week. I have applied for one but doubt I'll even get an interview becasue the application form made you put your previous salary on and they'll probably think I am joking...or delusional...or both. Heigh ho...if you don;t ask, you don;t get.
God, I am sounding like polly-bloody-anna don;t I. I'm not, really...
So sorry to those who are depressed...havent got any good archaeology jokes but I did get this from a friend of mine who is a helo pilot (who does not want to work for BP!!!)
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
11. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.
12. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go to Court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
So...nice cool Kronenbourg from the fridge, pistachios at my right elbow...a cracking evening in sunny England...:face-approve:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Merlot in one hand, Cigar in the other; body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!