21st May 2009, 11:25 PM
If you remember, we compiled a similar list of goodly hints for newbies some years ago and it turned out to be an informative and often-pant wetting exercise. This one is 101 tips and hints for surviving without archaeology. Here we go....
1. Buy an X Box
2. Buy a hemmaroid (crap spelling) cushion for prolonged periods suspended on your sofa.
3. Do not buy the entire series of Time Team in a box-set format.
4. Do hunt down any ongoing excavations and beg loudly over the fence daily. This is known as "actively seeking work".
5. Do not roach your dole card.
6. Do not assume that temping agencies have the slightest idea of what an archaeologist is.
7. When humping dustbins for the local council and maggot juice runs down your back-remember- rubbish is archaeology in the making and crap has context.
8. Recycle your fag butts.
9. Wear the same clothes for months, don`t indulge in personal hygene, carry a dog on a string at all times and consume special brew at alarming rates. Oh, no...hang on, thats no different from being employed is it......
10. Keep your hand in by building beer can pyramids and toilet roll henges.
11. Discover the beauty of youtube by typing the words "funny accidents" into the search bar.
12. Buy the newest edition of Rogers Profanosaurus and start by looking up the word "archaeologist" (p16).
13. Write a dole recipe guide to the amazing food you can concoct from a cupboard consisting of cornflakes, self raising flower, one can of soup and a jar of marmite.
14. Use both sides of the toilet roll.
15. Take great pleasure in waving your dole card at the student loans sharks (sorry- I meant Company).
16. Save on costs and turn your underwear inside out before getting another 6 months out of them.
17. Invest in bicycle clips to protect your shoes from the avalanche of dried matter inevitable after following tip number 16.
..knowledge without action is insanity and action without knowledge is vanity..(imam ghazali,ayyuhal-walad)
1. Buy an X Box
2. Buy a hemmaroid (crap spelling) cushion for prolonged periods suspended on your sofa.
3. Do not buy the entire series of Time Team in a box-set format.
4. Do hunt down any ongoing excavations and beg loudly over the fence daily. This is known as "actively seeking work".
5. Do not roach your dole card.
6. Do not assume that temping agencies have the slightest idea of what an archaeologist is.
7. When humping dustbins for the local council and maggot juice runs down your back-remember- rubbish is archaeology in the making and crap has context.
8. Recycle your fag butts.
9. Wear the same clothes for months, don`t indulge in personal hygene, carry a dog on a string at all times and consume special brew at alarming rates. Oh, no...hang on, thats no different from being employed is it......
10. Keep your hand in by building beer can pyramids and toilet roll henges.
11. Discover the beauty of youtube by typing the words "funny accidents" into the search bar.
12. Buy the newest edition of Rogers Profanosaurus and start by looking up the word "archaeologist" (p16).
13. Write a dole recipe guide to the amazing food you can concoct from a cupboard consisting of cornflakes, self raising flower, one can of soup and a jar of marmite.
14. Use both sides of the toilet roll.
15. Take great pleasure in waving your dole card at the student loans sharks (sorry- I meant Company).
16. Save on costs and turn your underwear inside out before getting another 6 months out of them.
17. Invest in bicycle clips to protect your shoes from the avalanche of dried matter inevitable after following tip number 16.
..knowledge without action is insanity and action without knowledge is vanity..(imam ghazali,ayyuhal-walad)